Shelly: If image is everything, why is that sculptor working in the dorm room naked?

Madison: I think that’s Bob, from Statistics. He lives there. I don’t think he’s a legit sculptor, he just recently watched Ghost.

Shelly: I mean, I just watched Gladiator but I don’t want to have a duel.

Madison: I guess not everyone is as sophisticated as you.

Shelly: I’m not sitting on a high horse, I just drank a slushy through a funnel. They weren’t even naked in Ghost.

Madison: Creative liberties.

Shelly: Whatever. He is the least of my concerns.

Madison: What are your concerns?

Shelly: Brett.

Madison: The stoner and 3rd string quarterback in the D3 program?

Shelly: That’s the one.

Madison: What did he do?

Shelly: Existed.

Madison: That’s it?

Shelly: Well, that and we were supposed to go to a club downtown on Friday. We get there and apparently it was the only club in the universe with more women than men. They said Brett could go right in but I would have to wait in line. Instead of waiting for me, Brett went in saying he had to go to the bathroom and would get us seats and drinks. Apparently, when he said ‘we’, I wasn’t included in that. Who was included was this blonde chick he met at the bar and they went to the VIP lounge, which I also couldn’t get into.

Madison: That was a dick move! 

Shelly: Exactly.

Madison: So, what did you do?

Shelly: I texted him that I was leaving, to which I received no response. So then I sent him a picture of me having sex with someone else.

Madison: That seems extreme.

Shelly: Desperate times, call for desperate measures. Anyway, I told him I quit being his girlfriend.

Madison: You were his girlfriend?? 

Shelly: Unofficially, but technically yes. For the past 5 days he’s been calling me and texting me around the clock. Mostly to get his 2022 Ford Mustang GT back.