I never believed in ghosts or spirits. Whatever you want to call it. I am from New Jersey. We’re tougher than that.

When I went to my brother’s wedding in a Pennsylvania B&B, the wedding party stayed at the Inn the night of the wedding. The day was painfully hot. They had me standing in a long bridesmaid gown with heels in direct sunlight at 3pm with a temperature nearing a hundred and the humidity off the charts. People had the nerve to tell me I was sweating. Yeah, lucky I’m not dead from heat stroke or my Irish-ness burned to a crisp. I’ll take sweating. Shows I’m still alive.

I’ll be honest, I was drinking that evening. Not out of control and only because my brother asked me to liven up the dance floor….based on my dance moves, liquor is needed for that. By the time the evening wound down and we had eaten, most of the alcohol had seeped out so that can’t be to blame. I went back to my room, which was cooled by a window unit. I paid $300 a night for a window unit, but not the point of this story. It was loud and I knew I couldn’t sleep with it on so I shut it off thinking that I would wake up in the middle of the night and have to turn it back on. As soon I shut off the light I heard someone say, ‘wake up’. When you’re used to sleeping alone, you rarely expect to hear any voices let alone someone having the audacity to tell you to get up after you just laid down. So I disregarded. Apparently Mr. Voice didn’t like that because a second later I heard, ‘HELLO!’ I thought, what the shit and turned on the light. I am not going down by a heart attack from an out of line ghost, so I slept with the light on like the grown up I am. The next morning. 10 hours after the AC was shut off, in 100 degree weather…my room was still cold.

Over two years later I moved into a new apartment in Los Angeles. One evening I woke up in the middle of the night, pitch black to a man leaning over my bed. I wasn’t fully awake and when my mind was like ‘err what the hell?’ And I opened my eyes again, no one was there. So naturally my 5’3’’ self, who can barely throw a punch in boxing class walked the apartment to try to find someone, things missing, or a sign of entry. All the windows were securely fastened and the door was double bolted. I presume an intruder is not kind enough to lock the door behind them. So I did what any scared person with no weapons or fighting skills would do, I grabbed a dull Target steak knife and stuck it under my mattress. I know me well enough to know I’d only stab myself if I slept with it. I have lived in this apartment for over 3 years and have had that same dream, experience or whatever you want to call it 4 times. I honestly wish that ghost would just steal my stuff instead of creepily stand over me while I sleep.